A Lesson in Women’s Autonomy: Reflections from Mumbai Slum

Written By : Shrenya Kheruak

Edited by: Ali Abbas Rizvi

The ability to make decisions regarding education, marriage, and daily choices is an essential part of the right to life, yet in many parts of the world, it remains a distant dream. In patrilineal societies, decision-making regarding women’s education, marriage, and health is frequently dictated by other members of the household. This harsh reality became all too apparent during my recent experience in the Mankhurd slum community in Mumbai where I had the opportunity to become an observer in a project by Datum Works in the Mankhurd slum community in Mumbai.

As a 15-year-old girl from the city, I ventured into this unfamiliar territory with some trepidation and unsure of what to expect. However, the experience was truly eye-opening, bringing me face-to-face, with realities far removed from my own. This contrast became strikingly clear during an interview I observed with a young married woman living in a slum, as she shared her experiences and the realities of her daily life. Her story began with her parents forcing her to drop out of school in the 8th grade to search for a husband. Although she wanted to continue her education, her father’s decision was final, and she was given no choice. It was hard for me to imagine a life where I would have no role in the decisions that shape my future. Not only was she forced into marriage, but she also had no say in choosing her husband; her parents made that decision. Her marriage was entirely focused on fulfilling her family’s expectations, depriving her of any control over one of the most significant decisions in her life. As the interview progressed, it became glaringly clear how little autonomy she had over various aspects of her own life. Her husband and mother-in-law make the most decisions. For example, she did not have a say in the number of children she had. While she wanted to have only two children to ensure the best lives possible, her mother-in-law insisted that she and her husband had four children, wanting them to have at least two boys. This lack of control extends the everyday decisions. For instance, she has never been shopping for herself before, and her mother-in-law dictates what clothes she wears and what makeup she uses. She requires her husband’s permission to visit her parents in her village and only allows her to go once a year. He is also uncomfortable with her friends, so she has to limit her social interactions with other women. This confines her to her home, where she interacts mainly with her husband and children. I was shocked; I could never imagine living under such strict control and so little freedom. What was most thought-provoking for me was how the content she seemed. Whether this was genuine happiness or a coping mechanism, I am not sure, but either way, she had made peace with her situation. Despite being surrounded by people who have plenty and very little to complain about, including myself, I have yet to observe even a fraction of the equanimity and acceptance that I did in our conversation with this woman. Therefore, what do we need to be happy? Is it a material privilege or freedom of thought and expression? Is it a state of mind that originates from a sense of acceptance and internal abundance? This experience allowed me to view my life from a completely different perspective. I have always taken my freedom and choices for granted, but realizing that these are not ‘fundamental rights’ for many women has deepened my appreciation of the freedom of thought and action that I have been blessed with. Moreover, I have become more aware of the importance of supporting those who do not have the same freedoms and working towards a future where every woman has equal rights and opportunities.