A Lesson in Women’s Autonomy: Reflections from Mumbai Slum
Written By: Sharanya Kheruka
The ability to make decisions regarding education, marriage, and daily choices is an essential part of the right to life. Yet in many parts of the world, it remains a distant dream. In patrilineal societies, decision-making regarding women’s education, marriage, and health is frequently dictated by other members of the household. This harsh reality became all too apparent during my recent experience in the Mankhurd slum community in Mumbai where I had the opportunity to become an observer in a project by Datum Works in the Mankhurd slum community in Mumbai.
As a 15 year old girl from one of the most cosmopolitan and urban parts of the city, I went in not knowing what to expect (and if I’m being honest, some trepidation). My life is a world away from the realities faced by those living in the slums, and this difference became strikingly clear when I observed an interview with a young married woman who lives there, sharing her experiences and the realities of her daily life. The experience was truly eye-opening, bringing me face-to-face with realities far removed from my own.
The woman’s story began with her parents forcing her to drop out of school in 8th grade to get married. Although she wanted to continue her education, her father’s decision was final, and she was given no choice in the matter. It was hard for me to imagine a life where I don’t have a role to play in decisions that shape my future. Not only was she forced into marriage, but she also had no say in who she would marry; that decision was made entirely by her parents. Her marriage was all about fulfilling her family’s expectations, depriving her of any control over one of the most significant decisions of her life.
As the interview progressed, it became glaringly clear how little autonomy she had over various aspects of her own life. Her husband and mother in law make almost all her decisions for her. For example, she had no say in the number of children she had. While she wanted to have only two children to ensure they could provide them with the best lives possible with their limited resources, her mother-in-law insisted that she have four children, wanting at least two grandsons. Having grown up in an environment that emphasises a woman’s choice over her body, seeing how gracefully she accepted an imposition like this as an inevitable part of life, was shocking to me.
The lack of control extended to everyday decisions, even something as pedestrian as choosing what to buy. She has never been shopping for herself before; her mother in law decides what clothes she wears and what makeup she uses. She requires her husband’s permission to visit her parents in her village, which he only permits once a year. He is also uncomfortable with the idea of her having friends, which confines her to her home, where she interacts mainly with her husband and children.
I was shocked; I could never imagine living under such strict control and so little freedom. What was most thought-provoking for me though, was how content she seemed. Whether this was genuine happiness or a coping mechanism, I am not sure, but either way, she had made peace with her situation. Despite being surrounded by people who have plenty and very little to complain about, including myself, I have yet to observe even a fraction of the equanimity and acceptance that I did in our conversation with this woman.
This experience left me wondering – what do we need to be happy? Is it material privilege or freedom of thought and expression? Or is happiness a state of mind that originates from a sense of acceptance and internal abundance? This experience allowed me to view my life from a completely different perspective. I have always taken my freedom and choices for granted, but realizing that these are not ‘fundamental rights’ for many women has deepened my appreciation of the freedom of thought and action that I have been blessed with.
It also made me more aware of the importance of supporting those who do not have the same freedoms and working towards a future where every woman can have the same rights and opportunities.
